What do you want?

'Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that but the really great make you feel that you too can become great.' Mark Twain

By now, you're deep into an interesting conversation with yourself about who you are and who you want to be.

You have probably grasped that you are constantly in the act of creating yourself and reinforcing who you are. Reinventing yourself is simply you paying attention to 'you' and the life that you're creating. You haven't always been the 'you' that you are now. You may be unrecognisable from the 'you' that you were 20 years ago.

Right now, you're standing outside yourself taking a good look and appraising what you see. From your vantage point you can spot what you're up to and how you're carrying yourself through life. To bring about any significant, enduring change you have to look beneath the surface to get to the source of what you believe about you, life and everything. You know it's not enough to simply change your hairstyle. An authentic upgrade has to come from the depths of your being. There's nothing superficial about successful reinvention.

What's your perspective?
You are who you are and what you are not because of your past, but because of your perspective. Breathe deeply and take this in. Assume a different perspective and you will have a different thought about everything. In this way you will have learned to control your thoughts, and to reinvent your life. Controlled thought is everything.

Pause for a moment and reflect on your perspective. Immediately you'll notice that you have a perspective on everything. You'll have your very own 'take' on who you are, what your future holds. It's like a filter that you look at life through. It colours everything. All that matters is that you take command of that perspective and ensure it's pointing in the direction you want to be heading.

Perspective - thought - reality Joanna came to see me recently, thinking that she'd never meet Mr Right. She was a glamorous, high-flying 39-year-old who had it all except the right man to share it with. Her perspective was that men always preferred younger, thinner women: that was just the way it was. Her perspective gave rise to an entire range of thoughts and determinations about herself. She convinced herself she was unattractive and dull. It was no wonder that her love life was in the doldrums. I realised that she had to radically change her perspective and her specific thoughts about herself to change her situation. Firstly I challenged her overall perspective by pointing out all the evidence to disprove her position. I showed her examples of gorgeous women over 39 who had no problem attracting great men, often a lot younger. I flagged up Jerry Hall who, at 46, had just turned down a proposal of marriage from her millionaire lover - ten years her junior, Joan Collins and her new husband, 68 to his 37, and on and on until her perspective shifted.

Then we tackled her personal thoughts and beliefs. I pointed out situations and examples that demonstrated that she was actually downright captivating to men. It took more than one session to redirect her and change her perspective, thoughts and reality. She was on course for a really disappointing personal life. As soon as she really made the shift, she began to attract the attention of fabulous guys who saw the wonderful woman she really was. Now she's enjoying the attention. Inevitably, soon enough, someone really special will show up.

Thought for the week
'I take total responsibility for creating an exciting future. My life is full of wonderful opportunities and surprises.'